What Is Psychotherapy?

Having a good grasp of what psychotherapy is all about is essential for anybody wanting to explore the topic in greater depth. This may sound like a really obvious thing to state but psychotherapy is one of those terms that is often banded around without any real consideration as to its actual meaning.

A classic case in point being the usual response I get from people when I tell them that I teach psychology and that I am a licensed clinical psychotherapist; namely, “Oh! I better be careful what I say then!”, or “so do you know what I’m thinking?” I know I shouldn’t, but my stock reply to these comments tends to be “Absolutely” and “No no, not at all…but then I would say that, wouldn’t I?”

It’s actually a serious point though because there is obviously a lot of confusion surrounding psycholotherapy.  One thing I can guarantee: It can help you cope with our modern life.

Put into words, the stuff of psychotherapy can seem hopelessly obvious. One thinks: Of course your depressed friend has nothing to be depressed about; why can’t he see it? Why can’t you just tell him so, give him some books about depression and how to overcome it, and end the problem that way?

Of course the overly timid, cautious, and withdrawn man became that way because he grew up with an intolerant, volatile parent; everyone else who knows the family can see that, and they can see that this man has no reason anymore to be so scared. If they can see all this, why can’t he do the same and get moving with his life? Of course the arrogant, know-it-all only irritates the very people he’s trying so hard to impress? Why can’t he keep quiet a bit, so that he doesn’t end up jobless, friendless, and solitary?

The short answer is that it’s too painful. Your depressed friend is stuck in this depression partly because, believe it or not, it is easier to feel depressed than to face what really hurts. It is easier for him to believe that everything about him is worthless, however much this flies in the face of all the data, than it is to cope with whatever else is going on. That is why his depression seems so irrational to us — because it’s a distraction from something else. Meanwhile we can only drop our jaws in disbelief as this handsome, talented, successful man mopes that he has nothing and is worthless.

The bright and attractive woman who attaches herself to one unreliable and dishonest man after another prefers — at an unconscious level — to cry or rage over the current man’s behavior rather than to feel and acknowledge more pervasive and unweildy dissatisfaction with herself and her life. Even the timid soul finds it more comfortable to flinch his way through life than to face all the rage, despair, and fear involved in questioning his habitual view of himself and the world.

Therapy can help. Your situation may not be as extreme as the cases described above, but perhaps we all have a hurt child somewhere inside.

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Dr. Brian Sullivan

Dr. Brian Sullivan

Dr. Brian Sullivan is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He holds a PsyD Doctorate in Clinical Psychology as well as a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Florida Institute of Technology (FIT). Dr. Sullivan believes his job is to work himself out of a job by helping people reach a point at which they no longer need his help.

Rachel Kepes

Rachel Kepes is a Licensed Professional Counselor passionate about helping adolescents, their families, and adults struggling with life stressors, relationship difficulties, behavioral and mental health challenges.