Grief Counseling in Charleston SC

Grief is normal in the wake of a loss, and sometimes even in anticipation of a loss. Grief counseling can help, particularly when the experience of grieving interferes with one’s life, from diminished motivation and enjoyment of friends, family, and usual activities, to unrelenting sadness and crying spells.

Optimally, grief prompts us to slow down, to reflect, and to recall the positive aspects of the person or project or opportunity lost. At times, the grieving is a response to things left undone, and unsaid – the loss of additional opportunities to “get around to that.” At others, it is the unrelenting and heart-rendering sadness that accompanies all that will never be – the child that will not grow and develop and delight in the world further, the spouse with whom one will have no more adventures or comforts, the friend with whom no new memories will be developed. As such, grieving is part of the human condition, and one of our more profound experiences, reminding us who and what is important to us.

How do I know if I need grief counseling?

When the grieving is compounded by multiple losses, or superimposed upon a vulnerability to depression, it can take on a life on its own. Those times, in particular, are the ones when grief counseling can be the most helpful, providing a dedicated space and time for the processing, the letting go, the honoring of the loss.

We’re experienced with grief, and can help with the journey. We know that grief will, at least in large part, diminish, and perhaps never fully leave one’s mind. In some cases, we can do nothing more than provide an additional source of support and company, especially helpful with others in your surroundings are grieving as well. In others, we can offer helpful guidance to expedite and deepen the resolution of grief. Either way, we’ll be there to help.

We are here to help

Offering Teletherapy Services In Addition to In-Office Sessions

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to Schedule an Appointment

Why do we grieve?

Grief is the word used to describe the normal emotional and physical reaction to a loss. It’s the emotional suffering that is felt when something to which you have grown attached or someone you love is taken away. The most intense grief is often felt upon the death of a loved one, but can be likewise experienced in a divorce or a breakup in one’s family or close friendships. Even a life transition such as a job loss or retirement, children leaving for college or ‘leaving the nest’ to go on their own, a loss of a loved one’s health or your own health can also trigger grief. A loss usually affects one’s spouse, children, other family members, and friends as well, compounding the problem.

While grieving mostly affects our emotions at first, physiologically, it can also affect our bodies like stress. The emotional pain of the loss can turn into real physical pain that weakens the immune system, raises blood pressure, and impedes the appetite and sleep, all of which can be harmful to one’s health.

What are the stages of grief?

While each person grieves in a different way, there are some common stages and feelings that are universally experienced during the grieving process although not everyone goes through all stages or as intensely as others. (Some psychologists include more or less stages.)

Shock and Denial

For instance, the first reaction to a loss may be shock at the event and denial of one’s feelings. The emotional trauma of a loss can be so devastating as to provoke the individual to become emotionally numb, shutting down one’s feelings. This serves as a temporary protection from the emotional ‘blow’. Grievers often find it difficult to focus on normal and necessary activities at this stage.

Anger

Then, the individual may become intermittently angry, blaming others, circumstances, or themselves for the loss. The anger usually masks other more intense feelings of bitterness or resentment that are being pushed aside. When the anger subsides and a more rational view of the situation is possible, the individual may begin to analyze how the loss could have been prevented or could even be restored.

Bargaining

The griever may spend hours wondering, “what if I had remembered to do this” or “if only I had done that”, the loss wouldn’t have occurred. ‘What-if’ and ‘if only’ statements attempt to rationalize the loss and are a type of bargaining. Religious people may even try to make a deal with God to reverse the loss.

Depression

When the individual stops ‘bargaining’, a quiet depression with feelings of being overwhelmed and hopeless may set in. Confusion is common at this point. If a person does not snap out of this stage quickly, it is important to get help from a professional right away.

Acceptance

Finally, in the acceptance stage of the loss, the individual has overcome the trauma and can move ahead in life. The grieving individual discovers that there are more good days than bad and that it’s okay. The person begins to see the path forward with hopefulness.

How long do the stages of grief last?

Just as each person grieves in a different way, each person recovers in a different way and in his or her own timing. Some people may begin to accept their loss in six to eight weeks, while others may need six to eight months. Some grievers may need years of counseling to overcome a traumatic loss. It all depends upon the nature of the loss and the stability of the grieving individual. People who have a healthy support system available are often able to recover more quickly.

What are the different types of grief?

The different ways individuals express grief can be in emotional, physical, behavioral, social, or cognitive ways. Psychologists loosely categorize grief according to its effects on the individual, the family or the people surrounding an individual. These categories may intermingle or may include more signs than listed here.

Normal grief is explained as the ability of the people involved to timely develop a vision and path forward towards acceptance of the loss after the initial shock and realization hits.

Anticipatory grief in the case of a dying individual can begin for the family long before the individual’s health begins to fail. Grief often begins for the dying individual himself or herself, family members, and friends as soon as the fatal diagnosis is pronounced. Feelings of guilt and despair can cause confusion and an inability to discuss these feelings during the ‘waiting’ process.

Delayed grief occurs when individuals withhold their emotions and reactions to a loss when feeling overwhelmed by the events, being unable to express feelings appropriately at the ‘proper’ time.

Traumatic, or prolonged grief can radically alter an individual’s ability to perform even normal life functions. These persons may engage in self-destructive behavior with suicidal thoughts, have crushing feelings of guilt, exhibit violent eruptions of emotion or suddenly change their lifestyle.

Disenfranchised grief occurs when others do not acknowledge the impact that the loss has on an individual by trivializing its significance. For instance, the loss of a pet, or the pain of having a child addicted to drugs, or the loss of a parent slipping into dementia, while not the ‘normal’ instances of loss, can be very emotionally distressing to an individual. It is never good to trivialize someone else’s pain but it often happens in our society.

Chronic grief is expressed in feelings of hopelessness, that nothing can ever be restored. The individual may avoid others that might be a reminder of the loss or deny the loss ever occurred. This type of grief needs to be treated immediately by a professional before it leads to severe clinical depression, suicide or substance abuse.

Cumulative grief is the expression used to describe what occurs when an individual experiences several losses within a relatively short period of time. The person doesn’t have time to grieve any one of the losses in a normal way. This can lead to extreme stress.

Masked grief describes the state of an individual that displays unusual physical symptoms or expresses negative behaviors that are unlike the person’s normal behavior. The individual often needs help to recognize that these symptoms and behaviors are connected to their loss.

Distorted grief usually results in unnatural feelings of guilt and/or anger towards another particular person. There may be other noticeable changes in behavior that are self-destructive. The person with distorted grief needs immediate guidance to return to the reality of the loss and to deal with it ‘normally’.

Exaggerated grief is the result of the normal grief responses being exaggerated, worsening as time goes by. It can lead to self-destructive behavior, suicide, drug abuse, nightmares, and can exacerbate psychiatric disorders.

Inhibited grief occurs when an individual doesn’t display the normal, typical signs of grief when an individual goes to great lengths to keep his/her grief private. Emotional, relational and physical problems can arise when an individual doesn’t allow himself or herself to grieve.

Secondary losses in grief occur as the primary loss begins to affect multiple areas of one’s life, creating an emotional response that can sometimes be as devastating as the primary loss.

Collective grief is felt by a group of people, such as in the death of a prominent public figure or a terrorist attack.

Abbreviated grief is a short-lived response to a loss. It could happen when the loss was anticipated and the individual was well prepared emotionally or that something or someone else filled the void in the person’s life.

Absent grief occurs when an individual shows no signs of grief or does not acknowledge the loss. It can be the result of denial or disbelief over the event. This individual may need professional help in coping with the loss.

If you are struggling with grief after the loss of a loved one or other significant life event, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. We are here to support you. Contact us today to learn more about our grief counseling services and take the first step towards healing.

We are Here to Help

Offering Teletherapy Services In Addition to In-Office Sessions

Contact Us Today To Schedule An Appointment

843 971 5171

Dr. Brian Sullivan

Dr. Brian Sullivan is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He holds a PsyD Doctorate in Clinical Psychology as well as a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Florida Institute of Technology (FIT). Dr. Sullivan believes his job is to work himself out of a job by helping people reach a point at which they no longer need his help.

Rachel Kepes

Rachel Kepes is a Licensed Professional Counselor passionate about helping adolescents, their families, and adults struggling with life stressors, relationship difficulties, behavioral and mental health challenges.